Finding the "Fierce Mama" in me :)

Well, first I want to say welcome! Thanks for clicking on my blog post and taking the time to read it (assuming you will read the whole thing). This is a VERY big step for me and one I am still sort of coming to terms with. I have always been a little close to the vest with details about myself and the "issues" I have had in my life. It is not easy to share the good, bad and ugly about yourself but I feel like it is time to show and share with everyone where I was and how far I have come, thanks to Beach Body. So...here goes nothing :)

It started on my 12th birthday, I had been having some "issues" in the bottom area (OMG!) and I was scared to tell my mom about them because it was, well, embarrassing. I had no idea at the time, but would soon find out they were fistulas. If you don't know what that is, the definition is here (http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/002365.htm). Essentially, I had a fistula that had moved around my rectum and found a way to the surface. At my birthday party I was in so much pain I had to keep going to the bathroom and crying to survive the party. I finally realized that night I had to tell my mom. So, when we got home I did just that. This of course kicked off what would become a month or two of tests and doctor visits that would put me through a colonoscopy to finally discover it was Crohn's Disease. I really had no idea what it meant or what it would mean for my future, but I was sort of numb to the whole thing. For those of you who don't know what Crohn's is or what the symptoms are, it is "a chronic inflammatory disease of the intestines, especially the colon and ileum, associated with ulcers and fistulae." (quoted from Google :) 

The main side effects are as follows:

- frequent diarrhea 

- rectal bleeding

- weight loss

- fever

- abdominal pains/ cramping

- fatigue

- reduced appetite 

We were told I would need to see a Pediatric Gastroenterologist monthly and start on a few medications to get the inflammation under control. Being 12 and just starting puberty, I was horrified to be "different" and hated taking pills. This was a recipe for disaster...but it was all good for a year or two. I took the pills, felt better and decided to "stop" on my own. I had gone to hiding the pills in my room under my sink in a baggie so my parents would think I was taking them. I lied to my family, my doctor and myself about feeling good and being healthy.

Well, this lasted until I was about 15 years old. At that point, I was in high school and my Crohn's was raging (much like my hormones!). By the time I turned 16, I was a stick - I think I weighed less than 100 pounds soaking wet and was always in pain. I had NO energy and really no excitement for life. Sad huh?! I mean I was only 16 - so much ahead of me I had to look forward to. My parents were begging me to tell them what was going on and why I wasn't getting or asking for help. I thought they didn't get it, didn't see how hard it was for me to have a "disease" - and one that wasn't curable. It seemed like a death sentence (dramatic I know) and I wasn't in the fighting mood. Then, one night I had a HORRIBLE panic attack in bed and truly thought I was dying. I told myself that night, "If I survive this evening, I will tell my parents everything and get help." Thank God, I did survive the night and when I woke up I kept my promise to myself. I marched right into my parents room and told them I had been lying, showed them the baggies of expensive pills I had been hiding and asked for help. As a parent now, I can only imagine the relief, excitement and anger they must have felt. Thankfully, all they did was embrace me, thank me and make me an appointment with a doctor and counselor.

From there I saw many different doctors - naturopaths, gastroenterologists, counselors, therapists, etc. I was put on different medications, no medications, different diets, no diet restrictions, told this was because I was a perfectionist, this was because I was selfish (maybe some truth in that at 16) and the list goes on. By the time I was living on my own (after college and a stint in California for a year) back in Portland, I had racked up quite a credit card bill paying for all of these treatments. I had been on remicade (a type of chemotherapy drug), prednisone (a steroid) and several other less intrusive drugs before I stopped to see where I was. Sadly, I was still feeling sick and was unhappy, but now I had debt up to my ears which added to my stress.

So, I decided to get off all medicine and manage the Crohn's symptoms myself. I did pretty well by managing stress and diet, but had a few flare ups throughout the years. I met my husband at 25 and I swear due to the overwhelming excitement and love I felt, I was pretty good for awhile. Then, we got pregnant right away, which caused my symptoms to go away (yay!) and we got to focus on baby #1 with no complications. VERY quickly after that, we got pregnant with baby #2 so I never had time to relapse in between. At this point, I had been feeling good for so long I forgot what it felt like to relapse. That was until our second baby turned 1. It was like all of a sudden it was back and with a vengance. I was very sick again and it was much harder to be sick with two kids! We decided to shell out the money for a colonoscopy to see what was going on. Sure enough, Crohn's reared its ugly head again. This time, the doctor suggested Cimzia, a monthly drug you inject yourself with every month for the "forseeable future". I was devastated and defeated - I didn't want to be on a drug forever that I had no idea what the side effects would lead to. I didn't see another way so I said yes and signed up to get the drug.

The day I got the drug in the mail, I found I was pregnant with our third little nugget. I now see how perfect that was, because it kept me from starting the drug. Through that pregnancy my Crohn's went away again and I had a healthy baby boy with no complications. This time, I decided I was going to be proactive and help myself before the Crohn's came back.

I was able to manage my diet and stress (as much as you can with 3 kids!) pretty well on my own. Then, my little one turned 1 and right on time, Crohn's symptoms started to pop up. Not terribly, but noticeable. I started to wonder what I could do to help myself without having to take drugs. Here is where the exciting part comes in....one day I saw a friends post on FB about her new health and fitness - she was doing a Beach Body program called 21 Day Fix and taking a shake each day called Shakeology. She mentioned feeling better, feeling energized and an overall sense of clarity. I commented on how great she looked and a few days later told my husband I wanted to do the program she was on. That SAME day, I got a FB message from her telling me about the program and how she thought it might help me. I quickly told her I was already going to reach out and was sold! I ordered it right away and couldn't wait to get started. Exercise was something I had always struggled with because you have to feel good to want to move. I didn't always feel good and had given up on a lot of the physical activities I liked in my youth. I saw this as a way to get my health on track and get stronger too.

When I got the Beach Body package in the mail I was a little scared - what if this didn't work? What if I had to call a doctor and start treatment? I was really hoping and praying I had found a way to help manage my disease. Two days into the program I was feeling SO GREAT! I hadn't realized how bad my symptoms had gotten (stomach aches, pains, bathroom issues) until I wasn't feeling that way! The shakes in combination with the clean eating diet had made a HUGE difference and fast! I felt like I had gotten my life back and was beyond thankful for a program that helped me feel good. I was able to focus on being a mom, a wife and on myself instead of managing crohn's. It was such an overwhelming feeling - I really do think I have found a way to live my life on my own terms. No pills, infusions, dr visits or shots. Just a daily workout, a daily shake and clean eating. How awesome!

There was no way I couldn't become a coach of a company that had products that help people this much. Not only did it help me with Crohn's management and toning up, my husband joined the program and in 42 days lost 22 inches! We are a healthier family because of what we have learned through this program. It is so rewarding to see our kids "working out" with us and choosing "healthy" foods over unhealthy foods. Not only do I get to focus on them more, they get to see a good example of health and fitness through their parents. What could be better?!

I know this is a LONG post, but I felt like I had to share the whole story for all of you to see just how incredible this program is. I have not had any drug or treatment that has helped me as much as this has (aside from being pregnant, and this baby factory is SHUT down!) in my life. I can't even tell you how incredible this feeling is and how grateful I am to my friend/coach for showing me this product. She gave me a new lease on life and I hope to pay that forward for someone else. If you want to know more about me, my story or 21 Day Fix and Shakeology, please reach out. I would be more than happy to chat with you - I promise it won't be this long of a response :)

Alicia